WARNING: cheesy, mushy stuff ahead

Dear husband, you are the best! Love, your wifey :)

Some people think that it's too dependent if you always want to be with your spouse. I think it means you found the right person. I'm not saying that Kevin and I are connected at the hip and can't function without each other, but we just simply love to be with each other. Being together, spending time with one another, is what makes us most happy. I love that about my marriage. He is the love of my life.

let the recooperation begin!

sorry i haven't updated about christmas yet. we're still re-cooping! 1 christmas eve party, 1 christmas morning party (a very early christmas morning i might add) and 1 christmas evening party was ALOT. although it was fun, it was definitely exhausting! AND WE DON'T EVEN HAVE KIDS!! waking up to the suond of my alarm this morning was shocking and very unwelcome. sleep...we both need sleep.

all i can say is, christmas was great. now the tree is taken down, the ornaments have been organized and nested in their little homes, and the decorations are back in storage bins. it was sad to "de-christmas" so soon, but i knew the energy was slowly fading. i will post tonight, if i can drag myself out of my bed to the computer. or perhaps, i'll drag kevin's laptop to the bed with me. sounds much more appealing :)

two new titles

first it was mrs. garvey.
now it's renewals coordinator - administrative specialist 1.

in case you don't get it, i got the job.
nothing like promoting before my trial service is over.

i heart promotions and new job titles :)

my other white dress

i'm looking for a fun white dress to wear for the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. here are a couple options i found at nordstrom and macy's that i just love!

empire waist, $148
http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/3007604?refsid=257223_1&refcat=0%7e2376776%7e2374327%7e6005464%7e6005465&SourceID=&SlotID=1&origin=related

strapless, $118
http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/3030871/0~2376776~2374327~2374331~6020250?mediumthumbnail=Y&origin=category&searchtype=&pbo=6020250&P=1

v-neck, $122
http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/3018694/0~2376776~2374327~2374331~6020250?mediumthumbnail=Y&origin=category&searchtype=&pbo=6020250&P=1

bubble with soft v-neck, $138
http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/3028515/0~2376776~2374327~2374331~6014132?mediumthumbnail=Y&origin=category&searchtype=&pbo=6014132&P=1

strapless maxi, $148
http://www1.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=366330&CategoryID=5449

wedding bells

on july 20 i got to come back to attend my good friend meg's wedding. it was so fun! meg and colt are so great together. they both are really happy to finally have married. i'm so happy for them. here are some pictures from the eventful day :) meg was such a beautiful bride!

i am enough.

i feel like i've been fooled. please anyone tell me--at what point in my life am i going to know exactly what road i am supposed to travel? i have been tricked into believing that as one became more educated, it would be easier to make decisions. I was a thorough believer in pro's and con's lists...but it turns out, they don't make any sense. they are filled with your own opinions about the situation--a situation, mind you, that you probably already are leaning more towards one side than the other long before the pen every hits the paper. more so, i've recently learned that i've been tricked into believing that you can count on others. contrary to that notion, i have learned that you cannnot count on anyone else but yourself 100%. even family isn't always that dependable...although i do have alot better luck with my family than some. i feel like i am two people stuck in one body. a jekyll & hyde syndrome of sorts. i supposed i cause myself the most grief because what i want--my "ideal" life--is always changing. what i want today usually contradicts what i though i wanted yesterday--who even knows what tomorrow will bring!?! i want to get married and build a life with someone i love but i don't feel that marriage is needed to have a fulfulling relationship. i want to have my own child(ren) but i do not want anything to do with the literal pregnancy/labor/birth part of starting a family. i want to have a family but do not necessarily think that means having children--why can't two people build a family with just each other? my defintion of family is more love than it is # of coats in the closet. if i am still single by the time i wnat to begin a family, i would not think twice about going about it alone...except, then i remember how judgmental society frowns upon that and i get scared. i want to adopt children that need a good home rather than bring more into such an unforgiving world but i don't want to regret not having experienced having a child of my own. i want to feel loved but don't think i need love from anyone else to validate my existence. i want to hear that the person i love thinks that i am beautiful but i know that the way i feel about myself IS and SHOULD BE ENOUGH. i want to lose weight because, unfortunately, people will take me more seriously but i have this strangely-high self esteem that reminds me everyday that i am beautiful just the way i am. you see, everyday there is a constant struggle for me to take one step in the right direction. i guess i hide it pretty well considering the daily duel is in my head. i supposed i should consider myself lucky. if everyone knew i felt like this each moment of everyday, they'd probably have me committed. ... ... now i've lost my train of thought. that always seems to happen, too. talking in circles is definitely one of my specialties.

considering my brain is tired, i'm signing off.
i'll be sure to bring more angst and poor writing soon enough.

who i am is quite enough

I want to be beautiful
And make you stand in awe
Look inside my heart
And be amazed
I want to hear you say
Who I am is quite enough
I just want to be worthy of love
And beautiful