did i fail?

my seventeen year old dreams knew that i was going to be married by 21 and have my first child at 22. now here i am at 23, not married (not even engaged), and thankfully without a child. so i'm wondering--did i fail? or did growth and maturity help me to realize that i wanted more out of life? i've been sitting around watching all these girls drop out of college or just decide not to go all together so they can wait around to find a husband. they just desire to find a husband, have his babies, and stay at home forever. i couldn't do that. don't you have dreams of your own? don't you want to feel like you accomplished something in life more than just a high school diploma? what if, god forbid, your husband dies? how are you going to support yourself? and your kids? yes, it's true that i do want to marry kevin and have his babies. and, the lord willing, i would love to be financially stable enough to have nice things and be able to stay at home with my children. but i don't want that forever. i want to feel like i didn't waste my opportunities and my talents. i want to be educated and respected for all the work i've done. i want to feel like i accomplished things that my children would be proud of. i have grown so much in college--i can't imagine where i would be or what i would be doing if i hadn't gone to school. mostly, i just don't understand why these girls only desires are just to "belong" to someone else? it's like once they walk down the aisle, they are saying to the world that they are loved, they are being taken care of and they are finally "worthy." i think my walk to get my college diploma says more about my character and my "worthyness" than my walk down the aisle ever will. so yes, at the end of the day, i guess i did fail. and i'm damn proud of it :)

.....

"you cannot be evaporated, invisible, and still think that you are going to create the marriage of your heart and your dreams. get out of that fantasy. let reality live and breathe..and you will have a chance--a real chance--at having a great, successful and healthy marriage."

"that's why i never got married...i just always wanted to be myself."

"there isn't anything wrong with making sacrifices and working together. but i think that as long as each person can hold onto themselves, and it's a mutual experience of growth--that's the beautiful part. that's the point."